dirty math jokes

Why can't love be a one to one function? If I was sin^2 theta and you were cos^2 theta together we would be 1 Have you heard about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? What does the "B" in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? The way the light reflects off the angles of your head is extremely enchanting. Yo baby, you want to see me solve a quadratic? You must be sin squared, because I'm cosin squared and together we equal one. injective. The surface of my cylinder is not a compact metric space. Girl: No. My ex-girlfriend is like the square root of -1,.... she's imaginary. I less than three you..... (i < 3 you) Baby you must be a modulus sign, 'cos whenever you wrap your arms round me i always feel positive! What's your sine? In Euclidean geometry two parallel lines never touch ... let's go back to my place and study some non-Euclidean geometry. What happened to the indeterminate form that got sick in calculus? They are compiled from various sources on the internet, including AMS notices, MathOverflow, reddit, aperiodical, and the Dabney spam mailing list. Excuse me, ma'am, but can I get your seven significant digits? Who knows everything there is to be known about vector analysis? What is woolly, spits, and is equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Can I plug my solution into your equation? How do algebraic topologists remodel their porch? Your name is Leslie? How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the digits of your Follow-up: What fakes politeness and works for the phone company? What do you call a destroyed angle that kinda looks like an equiangular quadrilateral? What do analysts and number theorists throw into the fireplace? Why do nurses use 1-to-1 functions so much? Where do you grow degree two polynomials? What do you call a ring theorist's parrot when it hasn't been fed? Copyright © 2020. I've tried to credit some of the jokes, along with jokes not from the above mentioned sources, at the end of this page. I wish I was your secant line so I could touch you in at least two places! He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. Which LaTeX package should you avoid when you go hiking. I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves What did the calculus instructor say to his hungover student? I can figure out the square root of any number in less than 10 seconds. How about you come to my place tonight, so I can show you the growth of my natural log. What is purple and all of its offspring have been committed to institutions? Are you a square number, because my love for you is exponential! https://www.ma.utexas.edu/users/a.debray/puns.html. Instead of being the derivative, id much rather be the secant so i can touch u not only once, but twice Because you're acute-y. Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's round table? phone number? reduce to simplest form? I 1-sin(theta) you What is a pirate's favorite measure on a locally compact topological group? I'll be the one over your cosx an baby, we can have secx! What do you call an angle that is adorable? Baby let me be your integral so I can be the space under your curves Well, then, let's try it with your phone number. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity or time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you. Whoops, I think my binomials just expanded Girl: No. Why did the Klein bottle's relative start taking off its clothes? Are you a math teacher because you got me harder than trigonometery. Guy: Me neither...In fact, the only number I care about is yours. Why did Emil Artin's necklace keep falling off? Are you the square root of 2? What do math and my dick have in common?...They're both hard for you. My love for you is like pi, it's never-ending. And for more laughs, check out our favorite grammar jokes and science jokes. Why did the polynomial plant (whose zeros all had zero real part) wilt? I'm relativistic: the faster I go, the longer I last. The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic. Why do analyists and number theorists like parks? if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); I'd like to instantiate your objects, and access their member variables. Why not start your class with some of these cheesy math jokes? Baby, you're body is like a hyperbola Huygens' favorite curves were cycloids, but my favorite curves are What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? Cause your legs are always divided. What do you call a banana with a hole in the middle? They are compiled from various sources on the internet, including AMS notices, MathOverflow, reddit, aperiodical, and the Dabney spam mailing list.I've tried to credit some of the jokes, along with jokes not from the above mentioned sources, at the end of this page. be the area under your curve... Can I plug my solution into your equation? Guy: Do you like math? Share your favorite cheesy math jokes in our WeAreTeachers HELPLINE group on Facebook. Posted by Elizabeth Mulvahill. Ideas, Inspiration, and Giveaways for Teachers. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" Once you go Asian, you never miss an equation. years, but you won't know the volume of mine until tonight. I wish u were the Pythagorean theorem so I can insert my hypotenuse into your legs. Why don't you be the numerator and I be the denominator and both of us Spend more time with me and you will do the same. The humor may come from a pun, or from a double meaning of a mathematical term, or from a lay person's misunderstanding of a mathematical concept. Baby your like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems. (really any mathematician does this, but computer scientists and chemists do not). "You must be the square root of -1 because you can't be real.". I do believe I am your reciprocal; we will be one when we multiply. Your hottness is the only reason we can't reach absolute zero. You must be an asymptote, because I just find myself getting closer and closer to you. I'm not being obtuse, you are being acute girl. Is that an asymptote in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Let 'u' and 'i' be irrational integers such that a real non-monotonic relationship exists for all T = {0 ... infinity}, © All rights reserved. How do linear algebraists settle arguments about matrix transposes? How did the matrix whose eigenvalues summed to zero disappear? e^x = f(u)^n. What is the contour integral around Africa? What? Don’t bother me. What's yellow, linear, normed, and complete? What is brown, furry, runs to the sea, and is equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? the rest of Russell's life. On a scale of 1-10, you're a solid e to the power of pi I'm good at math: add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply! Here's a list of math jokes. Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy"? I wish I were a predicate so I could be the direct object of your affection. Follow-up: Why can't you grow corn in Z/5Z? Baby if you were a 6 I would want to be your (reflection about the x-axis + then reflection about the y-axis) -->9 I use my rod of infinite length for more than just simplifying calculations... Follow-up: I hear Grothendieck once grew corn in Z/57Z, although he had to devise a clever scheme first. By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares. Elizabeth Mulvahill is a teacher, writer and mom who loves learning new things, hearing people's stories and traveling the globe. I think that convex butts are ALWAYS better than concave butts..you look toned What is green and homeomophic to the open unit interval? The sine^(-1) of you must be pi/2 cause you're the one Look, I can spell your name on my calculator! "Hey, baby want to Squeeze my Theorem while I poly your nomial?". At absolute zero, you would still move me. yours. You don't believe me? baby can I cal-cu-la-tor (call you later) "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!" What did the topologist say when s/he wanted to stop playing their hand in poker? You and I must have the same natural frequency, because we resonate together. My ex-girlfriend is like the square root of -1,.... she's imaginary. I hope you know set theory because I want to intersect you and union you. Free Printable to Share With Families! Because you have all my interest. because I feel irrational when I'm around you you and i add up better than a riemann sum Why was six afraid of seven? 6 Armstrong Road | Suite 301 | Shelton, CT | 06484. for sexual liberation. Maybe later we can go over to my place and titrate until you reach your end-point.. What couldn't the Möbius strip enroll at Caltech? I'd like to be your math tutor for the night; add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!

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